The topic here is taking full responsibility for all of our actions.
And we speak of anger towards others and towards ourselves.
First, about responsibility. Why do we need to discuss this here? Are we not all fully responsible adults, as we go about earning our living and paying our bills and meeting our obligations?
Well, yes, presumably so. But as we saw when we spoke about lying and how there is a special kind of lying that we often engage in without realizing that we are doing so … there are similar distinctions to be made about responsibility when trading.
Traders are not just responsible people in the ordinary sense of the word. In their own minds the best traders carry this idea of personal responsibility to the extreme, far beyond what ordinary people think and believe about the role of responsibility in their lives.
In the world of trading, you make the decisions. There is nothing about any of your actions that is due to anything except you. You are completely, totally, 100 percent responsible for everything you do. Nobody shares that responsibility, nobody diminishes it in any way. There is no action you take that can be attributed to anyone or anything except yourself.
How can this be? Suppose you have a trade that goes badly for you. First there is a lot of slippage on the fill, and you are immediately in a loss. Then you find that unexpected news is announced suddenly and you lose on account of that as well. And furthermore your office mate is on your case and on your nerves, you are fighting with your spouse on an issue in which you are in the right, and these conflicts disorient you. Finally, the traffic is horrible, your car breaks, your child has the flu, it’s raining outside, and in short, you are surrounded with problems. Everywhere you look you can find another reason why things are not going your way. Most of these things are outside of your control and so how can you be the responsible party in this situation?
Most people and most traders find that anger abounds in this situation. The inner dialog goes like this…â€ÂIf only the traffic was better,… if I had a more agreeable spouse…, if I had a better market conditions…, if the federal reserve had not acted,…. if my broker were not so busy…, then I would be in profit instead of loss here today.†You can fill in the blanks; it makes no difference what the culprit is called. The point is you are finding someone or something else to blame.
In reality there is no one and no thing to blame for these situations and by seeking such in your thoughts or words you are looking to shift responsibility away from yourself, not to accept it. The responsibility lies with you alone, completely and without limitation.
You are responsible because you can chose to act, or not to act.
It is that simple.
If you choose to be in the market, and something goes awry and you lose money, you accept responsibility for that, because it was you who chose to enter the market, knowing that the possibility of loss is always there.
If you get advice from a financial guru and that advice proves to be wrong and you lose money following it, then the responsibility does not flow to the guru but to you, since you are the one who took the advice.
If the weather makes you late, if there is an earthquake and the phone lines are knocked out, if your computer is defective and a virus turns your hard drive to mush – it makes no matter, you are the one who is responsible, since you live in the world and know that unexpected occurrences can happen, and yet you chose to trade.
Once you accept this principle to the fullest extent and understand the level of responsibility that is required of you as a trader, then your attitude towards events in the world may change quite dramatically.
In the first place, careful reflection will tell you that since you are the one that is responsible, you are the one who must assess all possible outcomes to any given trade before entering it. There is less temptation to engage in self-delusion based on “making a case†for one side or the other. “Making a case†is frequently characterized by seeking opinions and reading the analysis of others, listening to gurus, and in general whoring after authorities of all kinds. These actions are nothing more than shifting responsibility hidden under the guise of education.
Many traders engage in a never-ceasing search for the perfect set-up. They wish for a trade signal or set-up that is unfailing, infallible, and immediately profitable. They want the mythical Holy Grail. The underlying thought is, “if I find the perfect trade, I will never have to be wrong. The perfect signal will let me always be right.†The roots of this desire lie in the wish to shift responsibility for decision-making from the self to the other.
The loss of independence involved in such desires is the antithesis of accepting personal responsibility for our actions. Dependency is not the road to success in trading. Learn to think for yourself. Learn to take action under all circumstances, even the unexpected and the difficult. Learn to think for yourself, and then take responsibility for your thoughts as well as your actions.
Taking full responsibility means letting go of authority, and embracing the deep psychology of independence. Learn about those things which depend on you and those things which don’t depend on you. Distinguish carefully between those things which you can influence by your actions, and those things which you cannot influence. Pay the most careful attention to those which you can determine by yourself. These include, most importantly, your thoughts and actions.
It is of utmost importance for you to accept responsibility for your own mental state, for your thoughts and decisions, and for the actions which result from them. The conditions of your life result primarily from the long string of decisions you make and the decisions you make are consequent of the thoughts you have. Your mental state is at the heart of your condition in life, and the quality of that mental state is your responsibility, not that of any other.
One curious sign of our resistance to accepting responsibility is anger.
Why anger? Anger is an emotion that reflects our strong wish that something were other than it is.
In the world of trading, all actions that you take (including the action of inaction, if you follow me) are your complete responsibility. Everything else is not your responsibility, and can be regarded with equanimity and calmness.
Anger is a passion which deflects your insight into this truth and makes you think that some unfairness is being directed towards you. In reality, in the world of trading, such is not possible. There is no unfairness, it does not exist.
So there is no unfairness in trading. Can you believe that? Whenever you feel anger there is something wrong with your approach to trading; likely you have not provided for some contingency that affected you adversely. You are angry, but who is it that is responsible for your losses and your wins? Surely not the market, which cares not a whit for you. It is you yourself that is responsible.
If you have a loss and you blame yourself, you are being destructive, and using shame, blame, anger and reproach to punish yourself. Take it easy on yourself and say instead, “Oh, I see, I made an error here. Well, next time I must think of that and remember to do things right.â€Â
You may feel sheepish. You may feel chagrined. But if you direct your anger at yourself you are doing damage to world headquarters and this inhibits progress.
It is desirable to drain anger and other strong emotions from your mental life while trading so that you can operate in an emotion-free environment. (Of course we say that in a relative manner, since we are human and emotions are part of our humanity, and we will never be entirely free of them, though we strive to minimize their influence in trading, primarily by relying on our mechanical execution of predetermined patterns.)
There is little to gain in being harsh with yourself. Discipline comes from regular practice; harshness applied to you either from within (your internal critic) or from without (through a scolding friend, mentor, acquaintance, colleague, or partner), will only make things harder to learn in the future.
Talking full responsibility means there is no one else who has anything to say about your success or your failure. Either you do it, or it is not done. There is no one to blame because there is no one else in the picture, or if there is, you are the only one who let him or her in, and so it is your decision to have them influence you, hence you are the responsible party.
So when we learn full responsibility we have also learned to modulate or eliminate anger from our actions. The two are closely related.
Anger is of two sorts – that directed towards the self, and that which reflects a frustrated desire to shift responsibility elsewhere. Both are sins, and both will diminish your trading results if you chose to indulge them.
Thus in the world of trading, anger is entirely unwarranted and useless.
You get angry when you supposed the guru would protect you, but he did not. Or the weather would not cause you to get cold or wet, but it did. Or your spouse or lover would anticipate your needs, but instead they frustrated you. Or your broker would serve you at a higher level of professionalism, but such was sorely lacking. If you have not taken full responsibility for these occurrences, then you may become angry. If you have taken full responsibility for your participation in the world, and understand completely the difference between what you are able to influence and what you cannot change, then there is little or nothing to be angry about, and you will accept things in the world as they are, without regret.
And accepting things the way they are is a huge step towards successful trading.
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